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2009: Winter Whatever - 9th April 2010 - Stanmore Golf Club
Having been cancelled twice due to atrocious winter weather it was ironic that the 2009 Winter Whatever was played on the warmest day of the year so far. Stanmore GC played host and given the conditions of the last few months the course was in remarkably good condition . Man of the Match was Nigel Parbrook who not only won the Society trophy but took the first of the "nearest the pin" prizes...........congratulations to both you and to new boy Tony Faber who won the second of the awards - "nearest the pin in two" on a 220 yard dog leg par 3. Thanks to Kevin Morgan, Tony's mate and a member from Stanmore who accompanied us, showed us round, won overall - with a total of 40 points; donated the prizes for both the "nearest the pin" competitions and won the longest drive competition by a country mile.
Well done to all our winners.
Earlier and about half way through the round word was getting through that BeerRaj had scored 21 points on the front nine.
I was playing with Campo and asked him why he had made the unilateral decision to allow BeerRaj to play off what is effectively a beginners or worse, a girls handicap. After all BeerRaj had won the longest drive competition last time - surely you don't do that unless you have some kind of "standing" in the game?
"I know" said Campo looking slightly shifty, "he got me in the bar after tennis one night; just started talking faster and faster, louder and louder, stabbing at my chest more and more, downing doubles with tomato juice, then triples with tomato juice, then triples with just ice and slice and then finally triples with no ice just slice. Then he fell off his seat. I felt so sorry for him"
"He's bought a grands worth of Snake Eyes clubs, you just don't do that if you plan to play off 28 - surely it makes you look a touch pretentious at best, at worst abit of a shyster?"
"I know, but it's those soft brown eyes, just before the end he started to put his hands together as if praying; he's desparate to be recognised for something other than his legendry consumption or even his tennis, anyway what did FC just whisper?" enquired an increasingly uneasy Campo
FC had indeed sidled over from a neighbouring tee all blue flashing lights but with the furrowed brow of an honest copper who was in the presence of gangsters he knew he could do nothing about as he suspected there may be a bigger picture involved. As Chair of the Lowlands Tennis Etiquette Committee he was profoundly troubled.
"He's just told me that your man got 5 points on a par 3; he said that he didn't think that that was possible?"
"Well," replied Campo, "I suppose if you give a bloke enough shots.............
And exactly how many did it take that night in the bar Campo?
So with our sincerest best wishes the Organising Committee would like to offer our wholehearted congratulations to BeerRaj for obtaining the last ever podium position to be granted under Campo's shots for shots handicap system. We would also like to place on record our sympathy that no matter how loud the protests, we cannot and will not award prizes for lids (longest illegal drives)
2009 Autumn Salver - 16th October 2009 - GrimsDyke Golf Club
This was the inaugural outing and we were pleased that 20 members turned out on a fine autumn day for a round at the prestigious GrimsDyke Golf Club, followed by a couple of cold drinks back at the Lowlands Club. Paul "Robin Hood" Jones was the overall winner and walked off with the Cup (unfortunately Tony lost the Salver), "nearest the pin", the team prize, and a handicap reduction of three shots - "that's the beauty of golf" he was heard to mutter underneath his breath. More likely to hit a car on Oxhey Lane than a green, BeerRaj won the longest drive with what would turn out to be the only straight shot he hit all day.
Having been cancelled twice due to atrocious winter weather it was ironic that the 2009 Winter Whatever was played on the warmest day of the year so far. Stanmore GC played host and given the conditions of the last few months the course was in remarkably good condition . Man of the Match was Nigel Parbrook who not only won the Society trophy but took the first of the "nearest the pin" prizes...........congratulations to both you and to new boy Tony Faber who won the second of the awards - "nearest the pin in two" on a 220 yard dog leg par 3. Thanks to Kevin Morgan, Tony's mate and a member from Stanmore who accompanied us, showed us round, won overall - with a total of 40 points; donated the prizes for both the "nearest the pin" competitions and won the longest drive competition by a country mile.
Well done to all our winners.
Earlier and about half way through the round word was getting through that BeerRaj had scored 21 points on the front nine.
I was playing with Campo and asked him why he had made the unilateral decision to allow BeerRaj to play off what is effectively a beginners or worse, a girls handicap. After all BeerRaj had won the longest drive competition last time - surely you don't do that unless you have some kind of "standing" in the game?
"I know" said Campo looking slightly shifty, "he got me in the bar after tennis one night; just started talking faster and faster, louder and louder, stabbing at my chest more and more, downing doubles with tomato juice, then triples with tomato juice, then triples with just ice and slice and then finally triples with no ice just slice. Then he fell off his seat. I felt so sorry for him"
"He's bought a grands worth of Snake Eyes clubs, you just don't do that if you plan to play off 28 - surely it makes you look a touch pretentious at best, at worst abit of a shyster?"
"I know, but it's those soft brown eyes, just before the end he started to put his hands together as if praying; he's desparate to be recognised for something other than his legendry consumption or even his tennis, anyway what did FC just whisper?" enquired an increasingly uneasy Campo
FC had indeed sidled over from a neighbouring tee all blue flashing lights but with the furrowed brow of an honest copper who was in the presence of gangsters he knew he could do nothing about as he suspected there may be a bigger picture involved. As Chair of the Lowlands Tennis Etiquette Committee he was profoundly troubled.
"He's just told me that your man got 5 points on a par 3; he said that he didn't think that that was possible?"
"Well," replied Campo, "I suppose if you give a bloke enough shots.............
And exactly how many did it take that night in the bar Campo?
So with our sincerest best wishes the Organising Committee would like to offer our wholehearted congratulations to BeerRaj for obtaining the last ever podium position to be granted under Campo's shots for shots handicap system. We would also like to place on record our sympathy that no matter how loud the protests, we cannot and will not award prizes for lids (longest illegal drives)
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Winter 09 Stanmore
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Player
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HC
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Points
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New HC/SSP
23.31
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Nigel Parbrook
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15
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31
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12.4
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Beeraj
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28
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30
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25.4
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Roger Gibbs
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20
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29
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18.2
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Tony Arnesen
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25
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28
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23.5
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Eric Elderfield
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18
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28
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17
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Kevin Tye
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23
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24
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22.7
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Chris ‘Campo’ Cox
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9
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24
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8.9
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Tony Fipkin
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28
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22
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28.1
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Tony Faber
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28
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22
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28.1
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Mike ‘FC’Askew
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18
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22
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18.1
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Paul Fenech
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26
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20
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26.3
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Lionel Jamieson
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24
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20
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24.3
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Brian Hallett
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22
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20
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22.3
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Wendy Driver
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36
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19
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36.2
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Jill Gibbs
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32
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18
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32.5
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Dave the Windmill
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28
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16
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28.4
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2009 Autumn Salver - 16th October 2009 - GrimsDyke Golf Club
This was the inaugural outing and we were pleased that 20 members turned out on a fine autumn day for a round at the prestigious GrimsDyke Golf Club, followed by a couple of cold drinks back at the Lowlands Club. Paul "Robin Hood" Jones was the overall winner and walked off with the Cup (unfortunately Tony lost the Salver), "nearest the pin", the team prize, and a handicap reduction of three shots - "that's the beauty of golf" he was heard to mutter underneath his breath. More likely to hit a car on Oxhey Lane than a green, BeerRaj won the longest drive with what would turn out to be the only straight shot he hit all day.
Lowlands Club, Lowlands Road, Eastcote, Middlesex HA5 1TU,Tel. 020-8866-6579, email: info@lowlandsclub.com
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